The Magic of the Last 3 Words

Humans pay me to help them get better at holding conversations. It's not that these humans are uneducated — they are simply ill-equipped in the art of conversation. We aren't born knowing how to converse; most of us learn it along the way as we speak to others, read books, watch television and films, and write. I believe how to open conversations and keep them flowing smoothly should be taught in schools.

In a past article (How to Start a Conversation With Anyone Anywhere — https://hypnosisforhumans.com/articles/how-to-start-a-conversation-with-anyone-anywhere), I wrote:

When you walk up to someone, make that call, or compose that email, imagine that the human you are about to meet is the most interesting in the world; and open and continue the conversation as if this were the absolute truth. Ask them questions about themselves, give your attention to that human, and get them to smile. That is your focus.

My advice illustrates a mindset that can help anyone be present for their conversation partner. Being present, AKA being in the moment, is one of the three ingredients of charisma. It means that you are giving all of your attention to what is happening right now. You're not thinking of anything from the past or the future. In other words, you're not dwelling on the argument you had with your significant other this morning or thinking about the party you're going to on Friday. Instead, you are focused on the human or group of humans in your presence right now and nothing else.

Read my article titled Charisma and Charm here... https://hypnosisforhumans.com/articles/charisma-and-charm.

I received an email recently from a human who read my article, How to Start a Conversation With Anyone Anywhere. They wrote:

I have been adopting the advice you gave about imagining the person I'm talking to is the most interesting person in the world. This has really changed the way I interact with people. Thank you!

I do have a question, however. Sometimes, I don't know what to ask, and the conversation dies. Any advice?

This question is an excellent one, and I have just the tool to help you overcome your challenge. I use this language hack in almost every one of my conversations. I call it The Last 3 Words — although the number of words can vary.

Allow me to give a little lesson on tonality because it's vital to pull The Last 3 Words off. The English language relies on tonality to convey the meaning of a sentence.

• Statements have an even tonality with no rise or drop at the end. For example, say out loud, "The sky is clear today." Notice that the pitch (the degree of highness or lowness of your voice) does not change at the end of the sentence.

• Commands end by lowering the pitch of your voice. For example, say out loud, "Clean your room, now!" Hear how your voice drops at the end of a command.

• Questions are recognized by hearing a voice rise at the end. (NOTE: With some English dialects, humans may lower their voice at the end of a question, but every English-speaking human recognizes a question when they hear a voice become higher at the end.) For example, ask out loud, "Do you want to go to the beach today?" Depending on your dialect, your pitch may go up or down at the end of that question. If you naturally end a question by dropping the pitch of your voice, ask that question again, but this time by raising the pitch of your voice at the end. You will notice that the upward pitch definitively denotes a question has been asked.

Back to The Last 3 Words.

The hack is to repeat the last three words that your conversation partner spoke. When you repeat them, use an upward tonality — ask them as a question. You must be flexible because the last three words may not sound correct. You may have to repeat less or more than three words — you'll easily know how many words to use by listening.

Here’s an example...

• Your conversation partner: "I really like to go deep-sea fishing."

  • You: "Deep-sea fishing?" Ensure that there is a rise in your tonality at the end — they need to hear it as a question. This prompts your conversation partner to provide more details.

• Your conversation partner: Yes, I often take a fishing trip to the Bahamas.

  • You: "To the Bahamas?"

• Your conversation partner: "Absolutely! It's my favorite area because it's so beautiful."

  • You: "Beautiful?"

• Your conversation partner: Very. It's my happy place.

  • You (Staying on the subject but asking a new question.): Where else have you traveled?

The Last 3 Words will give you time to think while keeping the conversation moving along and keeping the focus on your conversation partner. When implemented correctly, your conversation partner will never realize what you're doing — they are happy to talk about themselves.

The subject that humans most enjoy talking about is themselves. By focusing on your conversation partner, they will have a great impression of the conversation and you.