Charisma and Charm

My charisma seminar is a full day in length, and everything I teach would be a book in and of itself.

What you're going to learn here are three key components that will help you build charisma the quickest. If you're serious about developing your charisma to the highest level, I recommend that you reach out to me to explore your options.

First, let's address the most common question I receive about charisma... "Aren't you just born with charisma?"

No, charisma is not a trait that you are born with. You learn how to be charismatic, and it has nothing to do if you're an extrovert (e.g., Jack Black) or an introvert (e.g., Bill Gates).

The dictionary defines charisma as a compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others. (Charisma is sometimes referred to as charm.)

Attractiveness does not necessarily refer to your physical characteristics. The clothes you wear, how you speak, how you carry yourself, and how you treat others all contribute to your attractiveness. If you lack in one area, you can make up for it in others.

Developing charisma will increase your ability to influence others, create deeper relationships, and help you get more of what you want.

NOTE: You can't fake any of these traits. You must be authentic and genuinely work on developing these traits until they become a part of you.

1. Display Power

Power doesn't specifically mean that you hold authority over others, although it can. Power can be about your ability to help others, the way you present yourself, testimonials written about you, an introduction by a friend to another human, and much more.

When I meet with a probable client for the first time, the meeting often happens over lunch or dinner. To subtly display power, I schedule our meeting at a restaurant that I frequent. Because the owner, managers, and servers know me and address me by name, this conveys a sense of power to the human I am meeting with.

I often arrive early and give the manager my credit card with the instructions to charge the card without bringing a bill to the table. When my meeting is done, I leave the restaurant along with my probable client. The majority of the time, my probable client will ask, "Did you already pay?" I respond with, "It's taken care of." This is another sign of power.

I collect my credit card from the manager later.

When I am conducting a seminar, I am the expert on the subject that everyone in the room is there to learn. That alone gives me power in the eyes of the attendees.

2. Be in the Moment

To be in the moment means that you are giving all of your attention to what is happening right now. You're not thinking of anything from the past or the future. In other words, you're not dwelling on the argument you had with your significant other this morning or thinking about the party that you're going to on Friday.

You are focused on the human or group of humans in your presence right now and nothing else.

I was on my way to a theater to perform my 90-minute show. My vehicle died on the freeway approximately 15 miles from my destination. When I say "died," I mean the vehicle was towed to the junkyard.

I called the theater to ask if someone could pick me up on the side of the freeway. My ride showed up 20 minutes later, and I was on my way to the theater with no way to get home. Oh, did I mention this was my only vehicle?

I arrived at the theater 25 minutes late. The audience had already been seated.

I walked on stage, and nothing in my life mattered except for the humans filling the seats. They paid money to see my performance. I was not thinking about what happened just 30 minutes ago, that I no longer had a vehicle, or how I would get home later. I was fully in the moment because my audience was the most important thing in the world at that time.

When you are with someone, put your phone out of sight, and act as if the human in front of you is the most important and interesting human in the world... because they are at that moment.

3. Care

You must genuinely care about other humans... especially the human or humans that you are with. Empathy is a crucial aspect of charisma that you must have or learn to develop. What draws humans to you is that you make them feel great and empowered when they are with you, and then they carry those feelings with them when you leave.

If you don't truly care about others, nothing else matters.