Unconscious Conversations
If I had to pick only one skill that I could use, indirect elicitation would be that skill. This will take practice to master but is absolutely worth the time and effort.
It is the art of communicating with precision and purpose, and the results appear magical.
Indirect elicitation is the skill of getting a desired response from your conversation partner without their conscious awareness.
Let me illustrate this by example…
You: “I wonder what time it is.”
Them: “It’s 9:03.”
In this example, a statement was made that produced a response without directly asking for the response.
“I wonder what time it is” is a simple statement that demands no answer.
Most people, however, will unconsciously process this statement as a question and answer you.
This is a very elementary example, but it illustrates the process well.
Let's jump right in and examine the different ways to accomplish indirect elicitation.
Embedded Commands
Embedded commands are directives that are contained within a larger sentence structure and are marked out in some way.
Embedded commands are very effective in installing ideas and suggestions into your conversation partner’s mind.
This is not a skill that you turn on and turn off.
Embedded commands should be used throughout your conversation, because a single embedded command will not be readily recognized by your conversation partner’s unconscious mind.
Multiple embedded commands, however, result in a covert conversation being held with your conversation partner’s unconscious mind that is virtually impossible to resist.
Here is an example. The embedded commands, the unconscious conversation, are in bold...
“You, like me, can probably put all your attention on the person you’re talking to. I find it so fascinating how two people can just lose themselves in conversation, and build a connection in such a short amount of time. You don’t even have to think about how much you enjoy this person, because everything seems so natural. That’s what I really enjoy about meeting new people.”
The embedded commands in the above example are...
You like me
Put all your attention on the person you’re talking to
Find it so fascinating
Build a connection
Enjoy this person
Everything seems so natural
By installing these suggestions directly into your conversation partner’s unconscious mind, your conversation partner adopts these ideas and actions without question and without conscious awareness.
Simply saying the words in the example above is not enough. Your conversation partner’s unconscious mind must recognize that you are communicating directly to it.
The unconscious mind is aware of things to which your conscious mind does not pay close attention.
Some examples of things that your conscious mind does not pay close attention to are...
Hand gestures
Voice tone
Volume
Tempo of speech
Eye contact
Nonchalant touches
What makes an embedded command an embedded command is the cue that lets your conversation partner’s unconscious mind know that you are speaking directly to it.
You deliver an embedded command to your conversation partner’s unconscious mind by marking out the command with some non-verbal cue.
For example, your voice tone can be lower when you deliver the embedded commands than during the rest of the conversation.
Maybe you can say the embedded commands in a slightly louder voice.
Making a specific hand gesture while you say the embedded commands is always a good choice.
For maximum effect, simultaneously use two or more non-verbal cues at the same time.
The key... Your conversation partner’s conscious mind should not be aware of the cues you are giving to their unconscious mind, so keep them as nonchalant and natural as possible.
Consistency is important, so begin your conversations with a goal in mind.
Let's say you would like to urge your conversation partner to scratch his head...
“I have found that learning these language patterns is very handy. The confidence that I have gained as I learn is uplifting, and I know that I have just only scratched the surface. I have already noticed that I’m a step ahead of the people I hold conversations with. I feel that this is going to help me reach the goals that I have set for myself, and help me head in the right direction.”
See how easy you can work the embedded commands into an innocent conversation?
It simply takes practice to perform the non-verbal cues as you deliver the embedded command.
Contact me directly with any questions you may have via email at… Bill@TheDateConcultant.com.
With focused and consistent practice, you will be using embedded commands without much conscious effort on your part. You will find that using embedded commands becomes a natural way of communicating.
Take several days to practice using embedded commands in the real world. Each new skill you learn builds on the one before, and it is very important to master a skill before moving on to the next.
Most importantly, have fun in the process!
