The Worth of a Human

I received an email from Keith. He wrote, "I have a grown son who is making some decisions that I disagree with. I just don't understand him anymore. I wish I knew why he does the things he does. I want to be there for him, but I don't know how. Any advice?"

The positive worth of a human is held constant, while the value and appropriateness of internal and external behavior are questioned.

In other words, humans are not their behavior.

For example, you may be having a "bad day" and feel angry and grumpy. Would it be fair for someone to judge you as an angry and grumpy human based on that one day?

Most humans are doing the best they can with the knowledge they currently have.

I view humans as fundamentally good. In other words, I do not believe that humans are born evil.

(NOTE: I am referring to your typical, everyday human. This belief does not apply to humans with brain injuries that alter their personality or have psychological issues that predispose them to harmful thoughts and violent actions.)

As humans navigate life, we are all exposed to various teachings, values, and beliefs. These come from our parents, education, peers, relatives, movie stars, musicians, television, the internet, and all the other sources we use to gain knowledge. This knowledge is used to decide what actions to take in our lives. However, since humans are involved, the transference of this information can become very skewed.

The result… We have humans who believe that Earth is flat, that their religion is better than others, and Bill Gates is implanting microchips in all of us. Of course, these humans are probably incorrect. Still, they make the best decisions they can with the knowledge they currently have… just like everyone else.

By holding the belief that most humans are doing the best they can with the knowledge they currently have, you learn to view humans differently. They aren't evil, stupid, vindictive, loving, polite, or weird; they are simply behaving based on the teachings, values, and beliefs that they currently hold.

This helps you better understand their behavior.

I am not suggesting that we should all feel sorry for humans who act like a dick, forgive all bad behavior, and let criminals run wild in the streets. Instead, I suggest that we see others as fellow humans instead of Democrats, Republicans, scum, degenerates, deadbeats, gurus, leaders, winners, and losers.

You still don't have to like the bully at school or the jerk at the office; just know they are doing the best they can with what they currently have.