Humans Will Never Forget How You Made Them Feel

This week's question is geeky and unique. It doesn't come from a reader of this column or a listener of my podcast.

If you haven't been reading or listening to my material for long, you may not know that part of my life is lived as an entertainer. I am a mentalist (aka a mind reader) and have a critically-acclaimed show that has been rated #1 in many cities across the United States.

Maybe I should say, "I had a show." The entertainment industry disappeared when COVID-19 landed on Earth, but I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I ran across a question in an online forum that caught my attention.

"What is mentalism for? By this, I mean what role does it fulfill in this modern world? Is it Art? A Performance? Theatre? Therapy? Pure entertainment? Trickery? Shamanism? When you perform, and it doesn't matter if you are a pro or a hobbyist, what is that performance for? To state it again, what is mentalism for?"

This question grabbed my attention because it encompasses more than just the art of mentalism. It's like asking what Broadway is for. The author of this question is really referring to live entertainment in general.

As with any live entertainment, mentalism is a vehicle to help audience members forget about life for a while.

I believe many magicians, mentalists, and other variety entertainers think the audience has come specifically to see them. This is usually never the case unless your mom is in the audience.

Humans are sitting in the audience to be entertained. They don't care what you say, they don't care what bits you do, and they don't care about billets (pieces of paper) and gaffed envelopes (envelopes that have been altered to be tricky).

Humans care about and remember how you make them feel during the show.

If mentalism were banned from being performed, I would still be on a stage with a hypnosis show, playing piano, speaking, or doing stand-up comedy.

There is a clear distinction between a mentalist performing for an audience and an entertainer using mentalism to give the audience an experience. One is focused on the entertainer, and the other is focused on the audience.

Of course, I'm talking about live entertainment in this article... but am I?

"Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life." —Oscar Wilde

In 1971, Carl W. Buehner was noted to say, "They may forget what you said—but they will never forget how you made them feel." Recently, this quote has been attributed to Maya Angelou, but the internet is once again incorrect on the author. It's no wonder, however, because Maya can induce some powerful feelings in humans.

What if you adopted this philosophy for every human interaction?

I have.

When I interact with another human, I want them to leave remembering how I made them feel. I want them to feel happy, loved, cared about, needed, wanted, important, worthy, understood, and better than before our interaction. Many times, I throw in intrigued, excited, and sometimes a bit unsettled.

How do you want humans to feel about you when you're not around?

When humans don't remember how you made them feel, they default to indifference. You mean nothing more to them than a human you give a short nod to as you pass them on the sidewalk—you forget them as soon as you turn a corner. In other words, they have a complete lack of interest in you.

Make others remember you for how you make them feel.