No One Cares What You Do

The go-to conversation starter in the United States is… “So, what do you do?”

I admit that I’ve been guilty of asking humans this question when I meet them. I was simply following the lead of others until I realized that there are much better (and more intelligent) ways to open a conversation and keep it moving and enjoyable. The “What do you do?” question is so prevalent in our culture that it is almost a substitute for “Hi, I’m nervous and don’t know what to say next.”

I began to remove this phrase from my conversations when I realized that no one really cared what I did; and likewise, I didn’t care what they did. We were both simply fishing for some topic that would keep the conversation going. In business and therapy language, we’re all just trying to build rapport and sound intelligent.

What humans really want to know is how you can help them.

Now, this opens up a world of endless possibilities ranging from “How about a date?” to “How can you help me make a billion dollars?”

In the therapy and business worlds, you’ll find business cards, websites, email signatures, and any other place that humans aim to impress that have 2, 3, or 17 letters after their name. Personally, I could have 20+ letters after my name if I wanted to list them all, but who cares. Let me answer that… nobody!

Your clients don’t care about CBT, HT, NLP, TLT, DBT, EMDR, ACT, Ph.D., Psy.D., M.S.W, M.Ed., M.S.Ed., L.P.C., L.M.H.C., L.C.P.C., L.P.C.C., L.C.M.H.C., L.M.H.P., M.F.C.C., L.C.S.W., et cetera.

Get rid of the letters, and fill that space with what you can do for someone.

For example, some of the letters behind my name apply to me being a hypnotist, a hypnotherapist, a hypnosis trainer, a Neuro-Linguistic Programming™ Practitioner, and a sales consultant. When someone asks me what I do, I answer with… “I help humans be their best, gain control over their lives, and get more of what they really want.”

Lately, when someone asks what I do, I usually ask them, “When?”. I have several things that I do depending on the day, project, and who’s asking. This question also puts them into a trance.

Instead of saying “I’m a [your profession here]” when a human asks you what you do, tell them how you help… tell them what you really do in normal, human talk.

This rule applies to the therapy session as well. If I am working with a client, I’m not going to share that I am about to do a double-bind dissociation technique; I’m simply going to help them.

When meeting new humans whether it be for business or pleasure, try some of these phrases on for size instead of asking someone what they do…

• What are you most excited about right now?

• What are you passionate about?

• What do you do for fun?

• What’s something you’re really into right now?

• What’s the most interesting thing you’ve ever learned?

• What’s your plan for a zombie apocalypse?

Stand out for being different as well as for being the human who can help others.

No one cares what you do; they care about what you can do for them.