7 Out of 10 Women Agree
This column needs a disclaimer and some explaining.
I wish I didn't have to state this, but there are a lot of creeps on this planet... NOTE: "No" always means no. Never force yourself on a woman. Women are to be respected at all times.
For almost a decade, I had the largest singles community in Columbus, Ohio — approximately 20,000 members. Every week, I planned an average of three events that encouraged singles to mingle. I became the go-to guy for instruction on how to meet others and start romantic relationships. I helped both men and women get through the first three dates.
A few weeks ago, my past life caught up with me when I received a message from a male of the species asking how long he should wait before kissing a woman. He was referred to me by a matchmaker.
This gentleman was about to go on his 6th date with a woman, and he wanted to know when he should attempt to kiss her — he thought it was time.
So, I went to the source.
I polled 382 women on Twitter regarding their desire to be kissed on the 1st date.
Specifically, these 382 women could choose one of the following options to the question, "Do you like to be kissed on the first date?"
Yes, Please!
I'm Open to That
Maybe?
Mostly No
Absolutely Not
The Results: 7 out of 10 women answered, “Yes, Please!”
Here is the breakdown…
Yes, Please! (267)
I'm Open to That (57)
Maybe? (34)
Mostly No (22)
Absolutely Not (2)
I jokingly wrote back to the 6th-date fellow, "Jump in your DeLorean, get it up to 88mph, and travel back in time to the first date!"
Of course, I also gave him advice on navigating the 1st kiss. The next day, he reported back, thanking me for the help.
My perspective...
It may be too late if you are on your 2nd, 3rd, or 6th date.
Correction… It IS too late.
Women are initially attracted to a confident man who can make them laugh and feel good.
When you meet a woman, she begins asking herself a few questions as she unconsciously (or consciously) qualifies you as a potential suitor.
One question that women ask themselves is, "Is he resourceful and strong enough to protect me?" This isn't sexism; it's biology.
Men must communicate that they’re confident and genuinely care about others. One way to do this is with a kiss on the 1st date.
Most women want a man to go for the kiss. The worst that could happen is that she stops you. This doesn't mean that she doesn't want to be kissed. It means… “You’re going too fast for me, Skippy.”
Few women will be offended or upset because you went for a kiss. If she stops you or turns away, it simply means that she's not sure yet. Women have exceptional instincts, and they know when you're not being authentic. In other words, you're full of shit.
If you want to kiss her, always go for the kiss; because many times, that window of opportunity will never open again.
So, what's going on in a woman's mind when you don't go for that kiss on the first date?
If you're nervous when you meet her and stay that way throughout the first date, she will pick up on that. If you want to hold her hand and you hesitate, she knows. When you don’t break the physical barrier, she gets the feeling that you lack the confidence and begins thinking…
This guy doesn't know how to kiss me.
He doesn't understand women.
He isn't into me.
He's not what I thought.
I made a mistake.
And you have just ruined your chance at a great relationship.
There is no right moment to kiss her. There isn’t a particular feeling that you should wait for. When you feel it’s time, go for it. If it feels uncomfortable or awkward, it’s because you are making the situation that way. When you feel nervous and awkward, you communicate that to the woman. She may not pick up on it consciously, but unconsciously, you have communicated…
You are not confident.
You are not strong enough to protect her.
Of course, I can tell you to be confident and just kiss her; but we both know it starts on the inside. You must become that strong, confident man that kisses a woman without hesitation.
There are countless ways to become this man ranging from faking it until you make it (which I do not recommend) to hiring someone who can kick your butt into shape (which I do recommend).
Keep from getting put into the "friend zone" because you lack confidence and the ability to overcome your fear. You must find that confidence deep inside or find someone who can help you learn to tap into it. Until you master that crucial element, you will continue to live in the "friend zone" and perhaps miss the human who could have been The One.
Women WANT to be kissed on the first date! I know!!!… I asked them!
