Incantations
An incantation is a series of words said as a magic spell. What most humans don’t realize is that we all utter incantations every time we speak to others.
The words that you speak have the power to invoke images, sounds, and feelings inside of anyone within earshot. You must be cognitive of the words that you use and teach your clients to do the same. A small change in the words you use can make a significant difference in the quality of your life.
Over two decades ago, I eliminated the words “angry” and “mad” from my vocabulary. I wasn’t lashing out at others, but I would find myself caught in a loop for the rest of the day when something didn’t go as planned. When I replaced the words “angry” and “mad” with the word “peeved”, I was able to shake off the feeling of being peeved within minutes... something I wasn’t able to do when I felt angry or mad.
When I work with clients, I pay close attention to the words that they use and help them change the way that they speak. For example, I recently had a client who started our session by telling me his day was not going so well. He said, “I’m depressed, angry, and sad.”
I stopped him and said, “Say that sentence again but use ‘I feel down, I feel peeved, and I feel blue.’”
He took a deep breath and repeated what I told him... and then left. I then asked, “What would happen if you decided to think or do something that makes you feel happy and hopeful?”
My client answered with, “I never thought about it. I would probably call my daughter because she always makes me feel happy.”
I said, “Alright, let’s do it!”
He looked surprised but followed through with his plan. He spoke to his daughter for approximately 10 minutes, and it was evident that his emotional state drastically changed.
By changing a few words and eliminating nominalizations, my client was able to take control of his thinking and change his state.
(NOTE: A nominalization is created when you turn a verb, adverb, or adjective into a noun. In other words, it’s a movie turned into a still picture. If you want a shortcut to help you determine if a noun is a nominalization or not, ask yourself, “Can I put _____ into a wagon?” If you can’t, then you are dealing with a nominalization. For example, “Can I put depression into a wagon?”)
Pay attention to the words you use because you can cast positive magic spells or negative ones. Discover new ways of saying things that take the power out of negative states and boost the power of the states that you and your clients want.
