Confabulation

I've written about cognitive biases in previous books and articles. For readers who aren't familiar with the term, a cognitive bias is a processing error in the mind that happens when humans are interpreting information — in turn, it affects decision making. In other words, it's a result of the mind simplifying the massive amount of data pouring into it by applying "rules of thumb" to speed things along.

Cognitive biases fall on a continuum — some hinder us, some help us, and some are situation-dependent. I happen to have excessive curiosity about this subject because too many humans unknowingly let these rules of thumb guide their lives. Unfortunately, many times, this isn't a good thing.

This article is the first in a series focused on the different cognitive biases. My hope for you is that you learn to be aware of the processes that guide your thinking and become a better human being.

Confabulation

Confabulation is a memory error. It happens when there are gaps in a human's memory, and those gaps are filled with manufactured, misinterpreted, and distorted information. In other words, humans confuse thoughts that they imagine with memories that are real. Sometimes confabulation is referred to as honest lying because it's not intentional or conscious deception. Humans experiencing confabulation are confident that their recollection is correct. Even when confronted with evidence to the contrary, they double down.

Essentially, the mind, without conscious awareness, is covering up for a memory that has been deleted and/or distorted. Because of this, I have taught for years to always be aware that you could be wrong.

To learn how unreliable your mind is, read my article Everything You Say Is a Lie. (At the Very Least, It Is Not the Truth.)

Because we are dealing with memories inside our own minds, it’s difficult for most humans to take a step back and admit that memory is a very fluid thing. Most humans never consider that their memories are not accurate, and this creates a false sense of confidence within human beings.

Here’s a fun fact: Studies have shown that every time you recall a memory, it is encoded back into your mind with even more deletions and distortions.

Let me give you an example.

A few weeks ago, my wife and I were sitting on the bed. I opened a conversation to update her on a business deal on which I have been working. I said, "I'm getting 50% of whatever we make off of this deal." My wife replied, "This is the first time I've heard that. I thought you were getting 60%!"

The following 30 minutes were filled with me heatedly insisting that I had told her about the 50/50 split, and she simply didn't remember me explaining this to her.

After I failed at convincing her that I was correct, I decided to go with the cold, hard facts — I pulled up my contract to prove it to her.

The contract read that I receive 60% — not 50%, as I insisted.

I believed I was telling the truth. I had forgotten my own teaching to keep in mind that I could be wrong. As a result, I became a victim of confabulation.

When experiencing confabulation, it's difficult for humans to take time to realize that they may be wrong — that their memory is skewed or missing information. The best that any of us can do is remember that there's a good chance we could be wrong and start checking the facts.

Simply being aware that aspects of your memories are deleted and distorted each time you access them makes you a better communicator. With this information, you can make better decisions when it comes to communicating, making friends, and influencing humans.