To Boldly Go Where Most Do Not

If my life were a Star Trek spin-off, the opening sequence would include “To Boldly Go Where Most Do Not”. (Boldly being the keyword in that line.)

Most of the social challenges humans have can be corrected by simply learning the art of being bold.

I conduct seminars for men and women on the topic of breaking the ice. The average age of the room is usually 45-years-old, and I would consider 90% of the attendees to be prominent businesspeople. Most have been married for 15 years or more, divorced, and are now back in the world of dating.

The number one comment that I hear from both men and women is, “I just can’t walk up to someone like I could when I was in my 20s.”

My reply, “Why not?”

If you were able to do it in your 20s (or even if you weren’t), what is stopping you now from walking up to any stranger anywhere and saying “Hi!”?

An even better question: What would happen if you did?

And yet a more intriguing question: What will you miss out on in life if you don’t?

In every seminar that I conduct that has female attendees, I ask the group, “What initially attracts you to a man?”

I consistently get the same response… Confidence (aka Boldness) and Humor.

This is the secret sauce, Men! Learn to be bold and funny.

Being bold and funny does not have an age limit. Boldness is not a 20-something trait that goes away as you grow older; boldness is a trait that is admired by humans of all ages. It is a quality found in leaders and influencers of all types.

But what does bold look like?

Being bold for some is simply saying “Hi!” to the human behind them in line at the grocery.

My wife once said to me, “If we’re gonna do it, we may as well go all the way.”

I totally agree with her! If you choose to display your boldness, do it in a way that very few humans will ever attempt.

Let me give you an example.

I attended an event at an upscale sushi bar. This particular venue on this particular evening was full of professionals. (No! Not that type of professional. I mean c-suite executives.) I was working the crowd when I walked past a group of people. One of the women in the group yelled, “Hey, aren’t you Bill Gladwell?”

Without hesitation, I stepped onto an empty chair near the group and said, “Yes, I am. Now tell me something exciting about yourself.”

This immediately drew the attention of the entire group of nine people. All of them stopped their conversations and turned their attention to the interaction that we just started.

From that chair, I booked three meetings with very prominent business owners, I had a phone number pressed into my hand, I received a drink from a generous young lady, and I commanded the attention of each and every person in that group (and within earshot).

Am I saying that you have to jump up on a chair to be bold? Absolutely not! You do, however, have to be different from the 97% of humans that you meet every day… To boldly go where most do not.

• What makes you different?

• What makes you bold?

Just being yourself can make you different from other humans. Your uniqueness and your willingness to talk about it can make you bold in the eyes of others. Most people want to be like everyone else… to fit in. Embrace your weirdness and be vulnerable. Be willing to open up to others… even strangers. Have reasons for what you believe and do and commit to them. (Unless you find out that your belief is incorrect.) Piss some people off with your boldness; not everyone is going to like you. (I wrote more on this in my article titled “Not Everyone Is Going to Like You”.) If everyone does like you, then you are not being your authentic self.

Here are 5 ways you can be bold right now…

• Whenever you find yourself coming up with reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t go up and talk to another human: GO TALK TO THEM!

• Whenever you find yourself coming up with reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t ask another human out: ASK THEM OUT!

• Whenever you find yourself coming up with reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t kiss another human: KISS THEM!

• Whenever you find yourself coming up with reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t ask another human for something you want: ASK THEM FOR WHAT YOU WANT!

Get my point?

• Whenever you are coming up with reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t take the next step towards intimacy or a relationship: TAKE THAT STEP!

Be bold, be funny, enjoy life, and always remember… “If we’re gonna do it, we may as well go all the way.”