The Power of Authentic Likeability

Years ago, I penned a weekly column for The Examiner. Today, I rediscovered one of those articles and decided to share it in this week's Tranced-Out Tuesday. 

Hope you enjoy it. 

I was once the keynote speaker at an annual Chamber of Commerce dinner. The focus of my speech? "How to Engage Your Clients and Profit From It." I compared business relations to dating, but let's get one thing straight: the rules shift when you're in Las Vegas. 

That night was incredible — I shared insights like a wellspring in action. I talked about why humans stay in business with each other, a critical factor for repeat interactions. 

I threw out a question about why second business meetings happen. "Trust," one human replied. "Common Interests," another said. Yet another yelled, "Chemistry." I turned toward the one who said trust. "When you chat with friends about recent business meetings, do you say you're returning because you trust them?" 

The answer? A simple "No."

I directed my next question toward the human who brought up "common interests." "In business convos with colleagues, do you claim a second meeting hinges on shared interests?"

They chuckled and said, "No."

The third person, who had mentioned "Chemistry," was next. "Ever had a follow-up meeting solely because of chemistry?"

The response? "Once, but a third meeting didn't happen."

So what's the real deal? You return because you "like" them. That's it. Chemistry, common interests, and great dialogue are nice but worthless if you don't actually like the other human.

In terms of building connections and comfort, "liking" is your cornerstone. Think you lack a plan for that? Think again. You have one; it might just not be working. We can dive into that another time.

Ever got a good vibe but never heard back? They didn't like you. A positive atmosphere and shared interests don't necessarily equal "like."

Bill Cosby offered a piece of advice that struck a chord: "If everyone likes you, you're doing something wrong." This applies to both business and social interactions. You can't be everyone's flavor of the month. 

So, what should you focus on? Be real and transparent. If someone's going to appreciate you, let it be for your authentic self.

Work on your skills to create attraction and comfort. You can't be a hit with everyone — and that's okay. Focus on being genuine and honing your persuasive abilities. Otherwise, you're heading for a solo flight.