I Was a Different Person Then
“I can’t go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
—Alice in Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
I’m 49-years-old.
Over the years, I have been many things… a child, a teenager, an adult, a boyfriend, a best friend, an enemy, honest, a liar, a father, a husband, an entertainer, a hypnotist, a speaker, a pianist, an audiophile, a nobody, sort of famous, and a lot of other things both good and bad (depending on who you talk to).
Like me, everyone has a “have been” list. Some more interesting than others but no less important.
Over the past several months, I have found myself wondering what my life would have been like if I had only done this or done that. Where would I be right now? What if I didn’t spend a few years of my life studying law just because my parents wanted me to? If I followed my dream to be a commercial pilot, how cool would that have been?
I have been trying to go back, but I can’t. I really was a different human 30 years ago. Looking back over the last 7 months, I was a different human when COVID-19 landed on Earth. Hell, I am a different human than I was just yesterday.
So, today, at 49-years-old, I know I can be anything that I want to be.
This means pivoting my business in a different direction, planning a major move, and setting lofty goals and having big dreams like I did when I graduated high school.
Every day, I learn something that changes my beliefs, values, and the direction of my life. Much of the time, it’s a very small change… such as when I learned to juggle; and sometimes it’s profound… like the time I learned that I was going to be a father. Every experience that I have makes me a different human.
Every experience that you have makes you a different human.
When I developed enough self-awareness to realize this, it opened up a world of endless possibilities. Think about it… just because you were one way yesterday does not mean that you have to be the same way tomorrow.
This was the point that I decided to change my name from “Bill” to “Will”, and then I realized that making this change meant new websites, email addresses, marketing material, and endlessly reminding people that my name was now “Will”. (Some ideas are better than others.)
I had a falling-out with my grandparents many years ago, and it cost me the opportunity to say “goodbye” to my grandpa before he died. All of us were stubborn and unwilling to give in. My grandma is in her 90s now, and I realized a little over a year ago that I am not the human that I was when our feud began and that my grandma had to be different as well. In my mind, I was able to imagine the frame of reference where she and my grandpa were coming from at the time. I stopped in to see her, and we had a great conversation and have stayed in contact since.
On the flip side, I have worked under management in the entertainment industry that only had their own best interests in mind. I have walked away from a few deals because of the humans involved and never looked back.
My point is that you have it in you to forgive and (possibly) forget, but you don’t have to forgive and forget if you don’t want to. (I didn’t say that the changes people make are always for the better.)
When you realized that no human is the same today as they were yesterday, you have more options and opportunities. Every human is doing the best they can with the knowledge, emotional intelligence, and their unique life situation that they have today… and this will be slightly different tomorrow.
Not allowing people to change is playing itself out on social media right now. Humans who did, said, or wrote something 15 years ago are being punished for who they used to be when it resurfaces as a “cancel campaign”. When the victim of the cancel campaign apologizes and explains that it was a different time and they were a different human, the masses don’t want to accept that as an explanation. Sometimes what was done, said, or written took place before the participants in the cancel-culture mob were even born. (TIP: Don’t put anything on social media that you wouldn’t want tattooed on your body for everyone to see.)
Because we all change every day, I believe it’s important to help others understand that the past does not equal the future. Just because you were one way a year ago or a month ago or a week ago or even a minute ago does not mean you have to be that same human one second from now. Change does not happen over a period of time; it happens in an instant when you decide to make the change and follow through.
What could you do when you realize that you don’t have to be the same human you were yesterday?
Who could you reconnect with when you realize that humans can change?
What if you treated and communicated with humans the way they are now instead of who they used to be?
