5 Ways to Get Women to Talk to You
The number one challenge that prompts men to initially reach out to me for help is their inability to approach women. Sometimes they tell me they have a fear of rejection, are shy, or don’t want to rudely interrupt a woman’s conversation with her friends. I have clients that are surgeons who save people’s lives every day without a second thought. I have clients that are air traffic controllers who are in charge of keeping thousands of people safe. When you put an attractive human in front of them, they have a meltdown.
Of course, the ultimate goal is to teach each of them how to change their thought process so they can approach any woman anywhere at any time while staying comfortable and confident. A good way to begin this journey is to get women to approach and open conversations with them. This is my form of exposure therapy for my clients. When men have enough women walk up to them, they begin to build the belief that they are good enough to speak with women and intriguing enough to keep the conversation going.
Following are 5 proven ways to get women to approach you and strike up a conversation. I have used each of these tools in real-life situations on multiple occasions as have thousands of my clients. DO NOT discount any of these suggestions because you think they are silly or out of your comfort zone. Do you want to meet women or not?
1. Have Something Easily Noticeable That Women Can Comment On
This is sometimes known as peacocking. It’s similar to how peacocks display their feathers to attract a mate. What aspects of yourself can you display that will get women to start a conversation with you? In other words, what can you wear or emphasize about yourself that will give women a talking point to make a comment or ask you a question?
I had a functional sundial that was in the shape of a ring approximately the size of a U.S. half dollar coin in diameter that hung around my neck by a black leather cord. It had numbers listed on it and a dial that could be moved. It was large enough for women to notice it but not gaudy or overly obvious. I would have women ask about it several times every day, and it always opened a conversation about what it was and how it worked. I did not get this piece of jewelry to attract women; I got it because I liked it. What do you have that you can wear that is unique?
I also have something else that falls into this category… several tattoos. I have tattoos down both arms as well as a couple on my neck. Each tattoo has a different story attached to it that makes it easy to keep a conversation going and even take the conversation in a new direction simply by talking about one of the other tattoos.
For example, I have a music staff down my left arm filled with notes. The notes can be played. They are from John Mayer’s song “Daughters”. The notes correspond to the lyrics in the song “Fathers be good to your daughters.” I have two daughters, and this was for them.
The tattoo that draws the greatest number of comments is the set of lips on my neck. They are my wife’s lips.
2. Wear a Name Tag
Wear a “Hello! My name is…” sticker. This is silly but fun.
What I don’t want you to do is write your name on the sticker. Write something like “Ask me a question!” or “Tell me a lie about you!” or “Let’s play a game!”
This really works!
Experiment with this one, try different phrases, find out which one works the best for you, and use it.
TIP: If done correctly, the “Let’s play a game!” can garner you free drinks all night long. Shoot me an email, and I will tell you how to make that work. Bill@TheDateConsultant.com
3. Have a Friend Introduce You
Find a friend who has no challenges walking up to people and talking to them. Ask them to make the initial approach and then introduce you to the person or group. It is much easier to open a conversation when you are introduced by someone.
This method has the added benefit of mentorship. Listen to how your friend opens the conversation and how he or she gains enough interest from the people they are speaking with to keep the conversation moving forward. You will begin to pick up some helpful skills without a lot of effort.
Notice that I hinted above that your friend can be male or female. Many times it is better to have a female friend be your wingwoman because women feel more comfortable talking with a man when they observe other women being okay with him. They perceive the man as being safe.
4. Attend Social Events With a Theme
Themed social events tend to draw people who are much more friendly than the average crowd at bars and clubs. Everyone is at the event for the same reason which makes it easier for conversations to develop. There is a great chance that a woman will open a conversation with you.
NOTE: Only attend events in which you have an interest. Do not attend events simply because you think there will be a lot of women present.
If you are into wine, a wine tasting is a great environment. Everyone is there for the same thing and there is a common topic to talk about. You can talk about the different wines and what you thought of them, recommend your personal favorites, and easily lead to other topics of discussion. You may even land a date for an upcoming wine tasting at a different location.
There are unlimited social events that you can attend. Check out my article titled “Get a Life” for an extensive discussion on how social events are a great place to meet a woman who has similar interests as you.
5. Say "Yes" to Any Social Event or Activity That Is Hosted by Someone You Know
Being in a situation where most everyone knows each other is a great place to meet women without the awkwardness of having to walk up to a stranger to open a conversation. Every friend-hosted event that I attend, there are always several people in attendance that I have never previously met. The bonus is that people you know will introduce you to people you don’t know without you having to ask.
The more you are out among people, the more chances you have of meeting someone that you click with; even someone you have known for a while but have never gotten the chance to really get to know. Many people move from being casual friends to something more.
Dating takes time and effort, but it’s fun and worth it. Enjoy the process and stay focused on meeting new people.
I hear from so many men who lament, “Why can’t I get a girl to go out with me?” or “Why can’t I find a wife?” or “I guess I am just going to be single forever.”
Instead of focusing on what you have no control over, focus on what you can control. Find things you like to do, do them, meet as many people as you can (men and women), and you will find that human who is worth spending your life with.
