Listen up, Humans. I have something important to say, so stop scrolling through your cat memes and pay attention. Today, we're talking about communication, or more accurately, how we royally screw it up. 

Buckle up because we're about to hit ten speed bumps to effective conversation.

1. Interrupting: So, imagine you're trying to tell a story, and someone barges in with their two cents. Annoying, right? But hey, don't be too quick to point fingers. We've all been that human. 

Interrupting a human isn't just rude — it's like screaming, "Your words aren't important." So, next time, let humans finish their sentences. Your need to be heard can wait a minute.

2. Using aggressive or derogatory language: Do you want humans to shut you out the moment you open your mouth? No? Then stop spewing venom with your words. Words have power, and using them to disrespect others is like using a chainsaw to trim a bonsai tree — unnecessary, destructive, and frankly, stupid.

3. Multitasking: Here's a fun fact — humans are terrible at multitasking. And no, you aren't the exception. When you're juggling tasks while pretending to listen, you're not fooling anyone. 

Give humans your undivided attention. Or just be honest and tell them you're too busy to talk right now.

4. Ignoring non-verbal cues: Communication isn't just about words. Body language, facial expressions, and occasional eye roll matter. Ignoring these cues is like trying to read a book with half the pages ripped out. 

So, put on your detective hat and start noticing the clues.

5. Being too vague or indirect: Sure, being mysterious can be attractive, but not when you're trying to get a point across. If you're unclear about what you want, don't expect others to play Sherlock Holmes to figure it out. 

Be direct, be clear, and be understood.

6. Being dismissive of others' perspectives: Your opinion isn't the only one that matters. Shocking, I know. Dismissing others' viewpoints is a fast track to losing friends and alienating humans. So, keep an open mind. 

Who knows, you might learn something.

7. Neglecting active listening: Listening isn't just about shutting up. It's about showing that you understand or are at least trying to. It's about asking questions, giving feedback, and showing that you're engaged. 

It's about not being an insensitive jerk.

8. Assuming rather than asking: You're not a mind reader. Stop pretending to be one. Assuming you know what others are thinking is the communication equivalent of walking on a minefield. 

So instead of guessing, ask. It won't kill you, I promise.

9. Overusing digital communication for important conversations: Texts and emails are excellent for sending memes or deciding where to get lunch. But when it comes to serious stuff? They're about as effective as trying to put out a fire with a squirt gun. 

So pick up the phone, or better yet, talk in person. Trust me, it's less likely to end in a disaster.

10. Not being empathetic: Empathy is like the secret sauce of communication. Without it, all you're doing is making noise. So, try to understand where humans are coming from. It might not make their words taste any better, but at least you'll know why they're serving them up.

There you have it, ten things we need to quit doing when we communicate. We're all guilty of these missteps, but that doesn't mean we can't change. 

So let's try to suck a little less at talking to each other, shall we? It's worth it.