I received an email from a woman who subscribes to my newsletter, Tranced-Out Tuesday…

I was invited to a self-improvement webinar for women. The program focused on how to be more attractive to men.

So many women are focused on self-improvement, hoping that a man might notice them. In reality, many (not all) women are doing the right things, but they think they need to "make things happen." Women shouldn't have to work to make anything happen — the man should be the hunter; the woman should be on the receiving end.

Yes, there are some cases where women need to improve. Maybe they have annoying habits. Possibly they are obnoxious. Many have grooming issues. Some can be boring. But all in all, you cannot have seminars geared toward women in general because someone will adhere to the falsehood that maybe there's something wrong with "ME" when really they are fine. It's the MAN who needs working on.

Before replying, I thought about this subscriber's email for a couple of weeks, and I decided my response may benefit all of my readers. (I respect the privacy of all of my subscribers, so I've left out identifying information.)

My response is not directed toward the author of the email. It's definitely not directed only at women because it equally applies to men.

If this is your view of the world, you most likely are not doing the right things; because you absolutely do need to "make things happen." It doesn't matter if you're a woman or a man.

I'm all for romance. But unfortunately, most humans' ideas of romance come from the world of fiction. In other words, most romance books and rom-com flicks have a common theme — the man somehow sweeps the woman off her feet. Usually, the man must overcome some type of challenge to be with the woman, and he tumbles head over heels to do all he can to win her.

A human shouldn't have to beg or compete for a partner's affection. Someone who is "hunting" you probably "needs working on." (The quotes signify the email author's words.)

A human who completely loses who they are inside a relationship is not psychologically healthy. In addition to being a couple, each partner should have their own life and sense of self. When a human supplicates and loses who they are within a relationship, the result can be dire.

We should all be improving every day. Everyone has at least one area in their life that could use some sprucing up. If you don't think this applies to you, then allow me to suggest you work on self-awareness.

I regularly discover things that I need to improve about myself. So instead of denying that a problem exists, I make things happen.

We all must aspire to be the best human we can be in any situation. If you continue to blame other humans instead of taking responsibility, you will prove your theory by attracting humans who have challenges.

My Advice

Do whatever you can to improve yourself, be the best human you can be, and never stop growing. If you are not growing, then you will always feel that something is missing in your life.